By Keri-Lynn Gibbs,
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Sunday April 29th, Diversity Columnist Keri-Lynn Gibbs gave an address at a candlelight vigil held for Asifa Bano that was held in the City of Edmonton’s Mill Woods Park. Keri-Lynn who has been writing our Diversity ESL Café column for several years, was asked to close the vigil and introduce the final song, performed by Zara Mahajan which was “Send the Light” (from Disney).
In her speech she challenged the listeners to consider how they see others and to hold up their own actions to the light of kindness. The event was not meant to address religious tensions or play politics, but to ask people to remember this little girl and the many other like her.
For example, In 2010 Shazia Bashir who was not older than 12-years-old, also died at the hands of an officer of the court and charges against the rapist-killers brought the members of the Law Society in Lahore out in mob force, demanding impunity much like the Hindu lawyers have been riotously protesting the charges against these leaders and police officers who raped and murdered 8-year-old Asifa Bano. What organizers were wanting to bring to the public’s attention to is that girls and women are too often the targets of sexual violence and that it is time that it stops.
One of the organizers, Shelley Puri, was so moved and indignant as a mother of children in the same age bracket that she was compelled to speak up. Organizer Cameron Jones, whose mother-in-law Rachel Hansen works with Mission of Mercy which has a long history in the Edmonton area, joined Shelley on the platform as MC. Mission of Mercy prepared the petition that was signed by vigil attendees and will be sent to both the Indian and Canadian Parliaments.
People of all stripes were there holding signs with slogans and expressions of grief spanning linguistic barriers.
Signage expressed sorrow about not having been able to help Asifa, encouraged better treatment of women and better character in men.
An Edmonton area restaurant Haweli Fine East Indian Cuisine was a welcome sponsor helping with costs. Local politicians, community leaders and a cross-section of individuals from both those of South Asian decent and the general community.
Police Officer Mona Gill spoke frankly as an Indo-Canadian woman to the men in her ethic community. She said:
“What makes me really happy is the men that are here … it is so nice that guys are here to join us in saying, ‘That’s Enough!'”
In the course of her work as a police officer she described the sort of common excuses she hears from sex offenders, such as: “I told her …that she should not wear those clothes around me!” to which she replied, “It is not what she is wearing that the problem, but how you are looking at her.”
Wisely Constable Gill warned against harmful media, as she charged the listeners saying, “Don’t be consumers of South Asian films where women are objectified.”
Members of Legislative Assembly Mr. Thomas Dang and Mr. Loyola spoke about the value of women and the responsibility of men.
Speaker Leta Montague leads a local NGO working with abused disenfranchised women reminded us that Einstein taught, “The world is a dangerous place not because of those who do evil but because of those who look on and do nothing,”
Leta said of Asifa,
“We don’t know what this little girl could have become – a great scientist, a teacher or a great mother.”
Rev Sherry Adams, who was joined by her fellow Public-School Board Trustee, Mr. Ken Gibson, spoke about the special purpose of each life and said,
“Asifa and every child like her that is robbed of her life leaves a gap that can never be replaced… These are times that break our hears because everyone is born with significance.”
Other vigil organizers lighting candles by a photograph of Asifa Bano, Gagan Dhillion and Deep Nirwan said how he could not sleep well several nights after hearing bout what had happened, “I see the daughter we lost and I hear her scream.”
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Seeing Hope in a Child’s Eyes
Keri-Lynn’s Address:
When I was travelling in India I experience sexual harassment more than once – by men both wearing long white shirts and those with dreadlocked hair – Once as the bus came to a stop a man who was supposed to be holy thought it nothing to reach out and grab my breast leaving me to recoil in pain and disgust. The kind of pain that makes you want to retreat to the fetal position and cry out. But that’s not what I did.
When this happened what I saw looking at me were the big brown eyes of a little boy – rounded and widened at the spectacle in front of him. There was no one to help me except this one thing – It was the thought of what this child would believe about what just happened.
So, without a further thought I raised my hand and then the other and began to beat the man about his head chasing him off the bus.
I still wonder why he would do this – why would anyone do this to another human being?
What did he see when he looked at me?
Many are wondering…
What was it that made Asifa THAT girl – the one to prick the conscience and bring us here today? They say there are other girls and that is certainly true, but she is precious as they are precious and did the people saying this do anything to help them?
Asifa is the THAT’S ENOUGH GIRL and that is a great comfort to the many forgotten ones who never make the news – we see them too.
BUT When those men first laid their eyes on her what did they say to each other?
What was she doing when they saw her and does it even matter? Everyone knows to some people it would matter.
Who saw her first? Whose horrible idea was this? Who was that final one that snuffed out the candle of her young life?
What did they see when they looked at her? Now here is an important question.
What was the condition of their eye? Their eye when they were looking at her?
Because as we reflect through the eye we can glimpse into the heart, because, “The eye is the window to the soul.”
The problem with some individuals is that they never see anyone or anything because their hearts are empty of compassion and darkened by their own desires – they do not hold their own actions up to the light of kindness.
So, what did they see when they were looking at her? They saw someone other than themselves – someone or something in a different category from themselves
When these acts are perpetrated the ones doing them don’t even once see them as wrong! They have their reasons and they feel entitled to take and mar innocent lives through sexual violence. After all, to them that girl – she wasn’t a person or a human with needs like them, or dreams like their children or a fretful mother waiting at home. She is the honour of her family and something to be crushed and broken because she is not like them.
Their eyes were clouded by their own desires and darkened because they did not know kindness. They did not see her – that her worth and value is ENOUGH because she was simply herself
So, I ask you today Why are you here to remember THIS girl?
We should never be more concerned with our own sensibilities that the human dignity of another human being. We should never be more concerned about our personal comfort than the cries of a person facing sexual violence.
We need to call injustice for what it is and we need to reflect upon our own eyes and consider how we look at people. What is very special about moments like this is that they are moments of kindness – where we all see the cracks of our broken condition. Cracks that we only see when we hold up our hearts to the light.
I see the eyes of that little boy and I have hope because I know he saw the truth demonstrated.
So why are you here for THIS girl?
Today are you here for pride? Please lower your gaze.
Today are you here for shame? I tell you to lift up your head.
Today are you here for justice? Look to see where you can shine it.
Today let’s be here for hope because we see humanity with that light and hold all up to the truth.
Today let’s be here for Asifa because remembering her life is reason enough. She is the That’s Enough Girl.[/mks_one_half]
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