What Is Normal Grieving?
The 5 Stages of Grief After Loss
On May 27th, The Tk’emlups te Secwepemc First Nation released a statement confirming the remains of 215 children, some as young as three years old, found at a former Indigenous Residential School in Kamloops, BC.
This discovery sent a ripple of horror, sadness and grief through the nation. Grief is an overwhelming emotion in response to loss. We all grieve in our own way, but how do you know what’s natural and when you need support? There are the five stages of normal grieving as outlined by psychiatrists Kübler-Ross.
Normal stages of grief
- Denial- While in denial, you may refuse the reality of the situation because it’s too shocking to process in the moment.
- Anger- Emotional pain can show up as anger. It can leave you questioning, “why did this happen?” You may direct this anger at other people or even yourself.
- Bargaining- Bargaining is a way to hold on to hope through distress. You think, “what if” or “if only there were another way.”
- Depression- In this case, depression isn’t a mental health condition but an appropriate grief response. It may leave you feeling tired, forgetful, without joy, or with poor appetite.
- Acceptance- Reaching acceptance doesn’t mean you agree with what happened. It’s more about recognizing the loss, adjusting to life with the new reality, and how you choose to show tribute.
What now?
Everyone grieves differently. There is no expected time; it can take a few moments to years. There are five very normal stages of grief. Take the time you need to process each step. Refuse the pressure to show grief how others say you should. If you’re feeling hopeless or can’t seem to get your life on track despite moving through the stages, reach out for support.
Arlene Ambrose is a Vincentian-Canadian writer. Her work focuses on mindset and encouragement. She has a background in health, depression and anxiety workshop facilitation and creativity as healing.
